Thursday, January 12, 2017

To do.

 Hello. I am very anxious about potty training Ella. I keep thinking about it and I keep putting it off like the slacker I am. Its such a commitment and a lot of work- always reminding her to go to the bathroom, cleaning up all the messes when she doesn't, taking extra clothes during outings in case of accidents, getting a mattress protector so night time issues won't soak and ruin her lil bed, holding her over other people's potties when we're out so her tiny little bum doesn't fall in- because her bum is tiny and it will. Pull ups or just diapers? How will she poo without her feet on the ground? These are my questions. I don't have answers.
 Lucy is such a good baby- her smiles bring me so much joy and they are often. She doesn't sleep through the night, but other than that, she's just excellent. I'm so pumped for when the girls can play together. Then Ella won't be asking me "Do you want to play with me?" 15x a day (whenever she asks its just so sweet and almost heartbreaking because her voice sounds like I haven't paid her any attention for hours- which is NOT THE CASE)
Christmas was good. Too many presents, but still good. I'm so annoyed that all my presents weren't winners- Ella maybe plays really with half of them. Bummer. The one that has gotten the most use I think is this sweet princess book.

Brent and I have started a 40 day diet.  We paid $50 for this Clean Simple Eats plan that maps out every meal and every snack and gives you a weekly grocery list and daily workouts. It's going pretty well. the food is pretty good so far (pineapple chicken and coconut rice for dinner tonight, Broccoli and turkey bacon pasta for dinner tomorrow), though the portions are quite smaller than what I would usually eat of course. It's SO nice and easier to have Brent do it along with me. I just bought a food scale online... so we're into it now. The recipes call for oz and grams of things sometimes, so it'll make it easier hopefully to portion correctly.

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Christmas Time in Photos and Captions

She was too shy to talk to him but she rather liked him, and also the candy cane! She also asked me a few times where the reindeer were. I said they were sleeping..... ??
We saw the Nutcracker together!!! The most magical part of the holiday thus far. I may or may not have cried a little bit. Ella sat through the whole thing, riveted during the first half and a little tired in the second half. She especially liked how Clara had a little Nutcracker and it turned into a big Nutcracker.. and the fight between him and the Mouse King.
Outside the theater... running around. It was lovely.
She got the little stool out all by herself to get off an ornament to look at. It was so adorable. To keep it real, this specific day was super hard- both kids were all crying and mad about something all. the. time. and it was driving me nuts. Whatever, we get past it.
Festive.

For Christmas, we are giving our ladies (fingers crossed Ella loves these items- Christmas shopping is such a gamble! you never know whats worth it):
toddler drum and maraca set (I'm sure I'll regret it)
some other crap, I can't remember.
play mat for Lucy

Also, Lucy is almost 3 months and she is such gem. She sleeps well (5 hour chunks at night and is easy to get back to sleep) and has started smiling and cooing- which brings me such joy. 

Ella Chats: 2 1/2

Some things Ella says:

when I ask if she wants to go the park, "Maybe Yes?" And another time she answered, "Um, sure."

The other morning after waking up in our bed with Brent, she says to him, "You are my best friend." Heart eyes all around! Then she said it to me, and then Lucy. But it was lovely every time.

Brent and I saw a movie today and our neighbors were kind enough to watch both Ella and Lucy. Ella has never stayed with them before so I was prepping her beforehand about how she was going to stay at Lori and Kristen's house and then I would come back for her. She said, "I'm scared about that... a tiny bit" while putting her thumb and pointer finger together to show me just a little bit.

I told her we were going to the bouncy place to play, she responds with an unelicited "I'm excited!"

She asked me if she could put orange soda in her chili. I told her that wouldn't taste very good, and she responded, "Well, I have to try it." Parent logic about tasting food before judgment turned against me.

I got my haircut a month or so ago, and when I came home she said, Mom your hair looks so nice! as she smoothed her hands over my head. Girlfriend notices the details.

Eleanor is annoying 75% of the time, but I love her and I think she's a genius. I think I mostly need to adjust my attitude about the annoying part...

Friday, December 9, 2016

Happy Birthday Granny Phoebe!

A generous and beautiful granny, an excellent biscuit baker, and can tell a real good story- when you want one and when you don't :)

Love you so much Granny Phoebe and the happiest of birthdays. Ella is lucky to be named after you.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Lucy & Ella photo gig with Aunty

she always asks for chocolate milk these days
My sister in law Natalie is a wonderful photographer and I am so happy to share her photos of my kids with the world, they are so beautiful. 
ella has named this baby doll Lucy also.. she asks for this "big baby" several times a day and prefers it for some reason over her two other smaller baby dolls.
heres some more if you'd like to see:

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Halloween & 2 kids

Ella has LOVED witches and ghosts and pumpkins and corn mazes and all things Halloween related. She was not a tiger for trick or treating, but she did try on the mask at target.
We did go trick or treating (Ella was a witch, and Lucy stayed home with Brent, not dressed up, to give out candy) and I told Ella to knock on the door and what to say when it was opened. But, she did her own thing, saying, "I have a baby sister!" instead of the usual trick or treat. Which was adorable for me but confusing, as we did not have the baby sister with us.
Also, I'm getting marginally more comfortable with 2 kids but thats not saying a whole lot as I was deathly scared and cried every two minutes when we first brought Lucy home. And the thing is, I have so much help, and its still so hard. My parents are so helpful and so is Brent- though he does have to work- but lately he's been working from home- and he helps out when I'm in a pinch and it is so wonderful. I'm very lucky.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Lucy's Story

Lucy is such a doll. She was born on Monday, September 26th when she was 1 day shy of 39 weeks. I was not expecting to have a baby on Monday, but I'm glad I did- 9 lbs 8 oz and 20 inches is not messing around.

9am: I went in to the doctors office in the morning to have my regular non stress test. Baby Lucy didn't move as much as the nurses wanted, so I was set to come in a little later to do further testing at the hospital (this didn't concern me yet as I had done this at 32 weeks as well when baby didn't move too much, and nothing was wrong).

11am: Before I went to the hospital, the OB/GYN doctor checked to see how far along I was (nothing crazy, 2cm and somewhere around 50% to 75% effaced) and at this time also checked my blood pressure- which was quite high. Since this is worrisome at 39 weeks, they also checked the protein in my... pee... sorry... which was also high. Therefore, preeclampsia was a high probability. So, a lot of things going wrong. a no good Non-stress test and probably preeclampsia. I was feeling nervous at this point, but also kinda excited because I knew all this stuff would further things along. and, I was so ready to not be pregnant.

12pm: Because of all this, they just sent me to the hospital right then for a "possible induction." Brent took off work and came with me, I was so glad. As we were walking down the hall, Brent noted how we would have the baby today. I said, no way- last time I went to the hospital at 32 weeks, things took so long so I figured I wouldn't give birth at least until the next day.
Brent won that one.

1-3pm: The hospital ran some tests and determined I did indeed have preeclampsia-  and doctor (who was kind of a scary old man) gave me two choices:
1. he would break my water, insert internal monitoring (yiiiiiikes) that keep track of baby's movement and heartbeat, administer a little pitocin, and hope my body would successfully go into labor and hopefully I wouldn't have a face up posterior baby, which according to the doctor, was likely due to my pelvis shape.
2. Schedule a repeat c section.

I was so torn. I cried like a dummy and it was embarrassing in front of the old doctor. I wanted the experience of a vaginal birth and I was hoping the recovery from that would way easier than a c section. But I was a little freaked about the internal monitors, and frankly, about going through all the contractions and having it just lead into a c section anyways. And option 1 didn't have an end time in sight, like after they broke my water I could have the baby in a few hours or in another day or two, which felt depressing. Also, I felt like the c section was an "easy" route - which it isn't, looking back. Anyway, I chose the repeat section. I felt a bit like a failure (I think it's crazy and annoying I felt this way- emotions are so weird.)

3pm: Brent leaves to pick up lunch and a few things from home. Nurses/anesthesiologist are prepping me for c section- I get an IV and an epidural. Things start to get a little freaky in my head. My blood sugar was a little low, and I think it affected me mentally. Plus, I was about to have a baby and I was all alone in the hospital room, so I'm sure that added fuel to the fire. Anyway, I started having such anxious and depressing thoughts, I'll never be able to handle two kids, Ella will get severely depressed and I won't be able to help her, I'll never be happy again, my life will never be the same. It was horrible. Brent is such a rock in these situations. He had just come back to the hospital and I was telling him how anxious and scared I was, and he was calm and happy and seemed excited about having a baby, and it was so reassuring. Also, I had some juice, so my blood sugar was coming around.

3:45pm ish; I'm wheeled into the operating room for the c section. It is so cold in there- for sanitary purposes? I don't know, but my teeth were chattering and it was uncomfortable- I was just in my hospital gown. The anesthesiologist put in the numbing stuff, and I could feel my legs and body start to get warm, starting from my feet and moving up. Creepy what medicine can do. The sheet went up in front of my face and oxygen into my nose. At this point, I kept telling Brent and the anesthesiologist I was frightened and couldn't feel myself breathe. Thankfully they were as calm as cucumbers telling me that was the normal (the epidural makes it so you can't feel your chest rising and falling). I also heard a nurse say the platelet count was low. I asked what that meant, and was told it wasn't me, that was another patient. And I thought, what the heck, why are these doctors talking about other patients, lets focus on the naked and pregnant body right in front of their faces. What if they made a mistake on me because they were thinking about another patient? That was scary and I stopped thinking about that.

4:21pm: I hear, "look at that double chin" from a doctor and that her weight is 9 lb 8 oz, and I'm astounded. Cause you know, Ella was only 7 lbs. I didn't hear any crying though and I got worried so I asked, and I must have been out of it or something because the anesthesiologist was like oh yea, she's crying. Brent brings our sweet swaddled baby over to my face and I see she has that dark thick hair and her eyes are now closed.
After the surgery, my teeth chattered like a crazy person and I was pretty nauseous. I lost my cookies a few times as they were wheeling my bed to my room. That didn't happen last time... but nobody seemed worried.
Birth is crazy. Some things, the stuff I described above, are so vivid in my memory... but other things I've completely lost. Like, I can't remember when I nursed Lucy for the first time, I know it was soon after she was born, but I can't place it. Or when she was first placed in my arms... I can't picture it.

Anyway, Lucille Marie Mouritsen (after my mom Belinda Marie) is a model baby. She sleeps and nurses like a pro (nursing is so so so much easier this time around) and has a little cry that makes you want to snuggle her right away. Ella is adjusting, as well as can be expected under the circumstances. More to come, of course, of this new family of four.
 My face is so swollen!